Learning to use vibes is an essential life hack for improving your charisma, confidence, and communication. This is true regardless of your place in the world. A boss, employee, coach, athlete, singer, teacher, student, politician, therapist, patient, comedian, world traveler, or simply a curious seeker looking for new life tips.
But what is a vibe, exactly?
A vibe is the exchange of energy between you and other people. The mood of a crowd. The atmosphere of a room. The rhythm of a band. The sway of a dance floor. The feel of a neighborhood. The flow of a conversation. And the deep connection between you and your best friend.
In each case, there is a feeling—or an exchange of energy—that you and others experience. But learning to use vibes takes practice. It doesn’t happen on its own. Captivating speakers and mesmerizing jazz musicians are not born as such. They practice, fail, and try again and again until they achieve the ability to use and direct their vibes with ease and command. This is a life skill that is helpful in all kinds of situations.
Maybe you’re excited for an upcoming first date. Or maybe you’re interviewing for a dream job. Maybe you’re giving a pep talk or trying to wow an audience. Maybe it’s a heart-to-heart conversation with a close friend. Or maybe you’re just leisurely strolling down a busy city street looking to exude a warm confidence.
You can enhance these moments by using your vibe to your advantage. But before providing some tips, I first want you to think of vibes as a bodily phenomenon.
Envision your body emanating or radiating a tangible energy that is experienced and felt by other bodies. This bodily emanation (aka, vibes) can be detected on multiple levels. One on one conversation, small and large group settings, city and town vibes, regional and cultural vibes, etc. There might even be a global level. The body emanates a vibe, and there are bodies all across the planet. Therefore, there must be a global vibe. If this is true, then our bodies are constantly interacting with one another. And you can use your vibe to influence that interaction.
Now walk through the following steps. These will be more mental at first. But you can develop your vibe-abilities by practicing these in your daily life.
Check in with your body. How are you feeling internally and externally? How are you doing emotionally, psychologically, and physically?
Check in with your surroundings. Where are you? Who are you with? What’s happening in your immediate environment?
Soften your perception and ego. Think less with your conscious mind and allow your subconscious mind to inform your thoughts and choices. Feel yourself into the situation. Feel yourself into your body. And feel yourself into whatever interaction is happening around you.
Envision your body radiating a vibe. Envision that vibe extending out into the world. Envision that vibe influencing and mingling with other people.
Lean into this energetic exchange. Allow yourself to feel the vibes of other people. Allow other people to feel your vibe. Allow yourself to feel this interaction.
Now learn to direct this energy. What’s the situation and what are you trying to experience or accomplish in this moment? How can you project the right vibe at the right time? What vibe do you want to project and for what reason? What reaction are you hoping to get from others?
Remember that mastering these steps takes time and practice. Because of this, don’t be afraid to experiment with different approaches and different vibes. Maybe the steps I outlined don’t work for you. Fine. Try something different. Maybe the vibe you projected last week didn’t work. Okay, fine. Try out a different vibe next week. In brief, find what works for you.
Developing a personalized vibe-practice makes you more vibe-conversant. Yes, you’ll attract “good vibes” into your life. But you’ll also learn to navigate a diversity of vibes—good vibes, bad vibes, weird vibes, sad vibes, chill vibes, pretty vibes, ugly vibes, sexy vibes, smart vibes, tense vibes, cozy vibes, and so on. And that is an essential life hack!
Jason Del Gandio has a PhD in Communication Studies and has been studying the vibe for 30 years. He is a published author, an award-winning teacher, and a public intellectual. His latest project is called 20MinuteVibe, offering accessible vibe-related content for intellectually curious people. The website includes videos, essays, and self-paced video classes to help people articulate their experience of the vibe. Jason is available for talks, workshops, and lectures for both groups and one-on-one sessions, either online or in-person.
Find out more about Jason Del Gandio at https://20minutevibe.com.
Article published in The Relatable Voice Magazine - December 2024.
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