November is the hardest month for Vivien and Neil, and also the best. How so? In the USA, November begins with time change week, when the clocks are set back again, disrupting the circadian rhythm, knocking us off balance, causing everyone to feel grumpy, out of sorts and sleep deprived. Suddenly, the days are short and dark.
Then, the first Tuesday in November is election day in the USA, another event that has developed a long, tedious buildup, making extra demands on the psyche, causing us to feel unsettled.
For Vivien, those two dynamics would be more than enough to cause disruption to her peace of mind. But 3 significant family birthdays are grouped in November also – her mother’s birthday, her father’s birthday and her son, Aidan’s birthday. All 3 of these family members are deceased. Whilst Vivien’s mother and father lived well into their eighties, Aidan passed at the age of twenty-six, of a silent but fatal heart condition, rendering his birthday the most painful date in the calendar. As his birthday is November 9, it caps off the already challenging week with a knockout punch.
Vivien has learned to navigate the first 10 days of November in a systematic manner, reducing her workload and never adding a single “extra” commitment to a week that is too full of emotion. That’s the adjustment of logistics, but what’s also needed is the adjustment of attitude. By admitting the feeling of dread upfront, Vivien can be constructive. Time flies, and time will take care of this week – just rein it all in, and allow the time to pass. As soon as Aidan’s birthday has been honored, relief can quench the angst. Despite the shortening days, Vivien feels like she is emerging into the light again.
Life is full of opposites. Those first days in November actually mark another anniversary, a most joyous one. Vivien, Neil, Aidan and Jason, arrived in the USA on October 29, 1991, entering the country as permanent residents, precious green cards in hand. We planned to arrive in time for Hallowe’en, and that kicked off a series of “first” encounters with US culture. Day one, our Uncle Herby drove us to Toys ‘R Us to purchase costumes. There was no debate about what they were looking for and Aidan and Jason couldn’t wait to get their superhero outfits. Everyone was completely overwhelmed by the big box toy store having never seen anything like it before, but we found a way to cope, coming home with a treasure trove of outfits and action figures that were unavailable in South Africa.
That outing was followed by Trick or Treating on October 31. We will never forget the intense, amazing fun of our first Hallowe’en as Aidan and Jason ran from house to house collecting a cornucopia of candy. A couple of days later, when we came upstairs, we found Uncle Herby sitting nonchalantly in the kitchen paging through a magazine, waiting for us. “Look outside,” he said. “Oh boy,” we exclaimed, “it snowed.” This was our first snow ever! Lucky that we hadn’t only bought toys on our first outing, but also down coats, hats and gloves. We put on our gear and ran outside whooping with excitement.
And then, at the end of November, on the fourth Thursday of the month, it was time for Thanksgiving. It had taken Neil and Vivien twelve years to manifest their dream of coming to the USA, and most appropriately, it was time to give thanks. So it is every year – Neil and Vivien’s family come together at Thanksgiving, eating a mix of traditional and non-traditional foods, marking this date in the calendar so loaded with meaning. Every year on Thanksgiving we remember how we are blessed and we feel so grateful.
Vivien Schapera is an award-winning Teacher, Practitioner and Writer living in Cincinnati, OH USA. In private practice for over 40 years, she is also the founder of three schools, and the author of numerous blogs, vlogs, and books, including Everyday Magic and The Complete Guide to Crystal Surgery. Find out more at www.CrystalHealingTechniques.com.
Article published in The Relatable Voice Magazine - November 2024. Downolad the full magazine at https://www.relatable-media.com/the-relatable-voice-magazine
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